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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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18 months of living hell

Posted by Mumataloss42 on 27 June 2017.

Last summer , we found out our 19 year old was using cocaine frequently. It got that bad, that i had drug dealers who we thought were his 'friends' contacting me.
At the beginning of this year, we thought through love and support , he had made a complete turnaround for the better. He got a job, was earning more than enough to still socialise with his nicer friends who he had dropped whilst in the wrong crowd, and only went out, so we thought, once a week.
I was extremely suspicious as he was spending his earnings in one night but originally believed that he was buying everyone drinks.  My iPad and his iPhone which I paid for went missing and he denied all 
knowledge .
Luckily I'm very computer savvy and decided for piece of mind to get into his laptop where I saw the drug abuse never stopped but I couldn't understand how he wasn't showing any signs as before , such as the not wanting to work, the sleeping all day, coming in when the youngest kids were getting ready for school , the pupils dilating.

None of it makes any sense , yet it was clear that the debts had been mounting up again . The messages in the computer were very clear.

Even though he has been caught out again, he has shown no remorse, no apology, nothing. It's bizarre.

The only option he has had this time round is to get professional help and that is what we have put into place this week.

I've no idea about the future at this point but like all other parents , we are in a world that we never have wanted to understand. My son had good education, did well at school and is normally a very kind and loving son and brother . We can only hope that his family mean to much to him and hope that he sees that the original love and support was not enough so professional help is the only way forward as he has fooled us twice now.

You honestly think you know the signs but they get clever and somehow have the ability to pretend life is normal. I'm still crushed that he feels nothing has happened or changed, but for the rest of the families sake, we have to carry on and just hope he comes out the other end for the better post treatment.

I'm grateful that I found this site and now know I'm not alone.


Warrior Mum
27 Jun 2017

I have just found this site and I am grateful too. Our 19 year old is a Cannabis user and had a psychotic episode last year. He went to a festival and took stuff over a three day period. He had to be sectioned. I have just found out that he has started taking it again. We have professional help and it is helping to some degree. The anxiety and worry that parents have to cope with is unbelievable. I go through stages where I just want to say, move out and get on with it and deep grief. I have realised that I need support as well. If I go under, the rest of the family will. This is not going to take me down. Lots of love to all parents out there suffering.

Icarus Trust
7 Aug 2017

Thank you for sharing your stories. My heart goes out to both of you. It is such a hard thing that you are dealing with.
If you would like to talk with people who would understand and have a lot of experience of what you are going through please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity providing support for the family and friends of addicts. You may find it helpful to talk with one of our trained volunteers.
You can contact us on or visit the website
Good luck to both of you.

16 May 2018

Thank you for sharing your story.
My 20 year old son is exactly true to your words in your story except he is taking Cocaine and ketamine which frightens the life out of me. He moved out yesterday with the help of his Dad into a flat, which also frightens me as we won’t have any control not that we had any while living at home. This is our last hope he will sort himself out, even thou he tells me he hasn’t got a problem and it’s normal to spend £150 a week on drugs. DRUGS are evil and ruin families and lives. We had a lovely close knit family and he was such a caring loving lad until a new so called friend introduced drugs to him. We miss that beautiful loving lad so much. Keep positive they will get through this x

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