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All alone

Posted by Lostlady on 11 February 2015.

I am so alone and do not know what to do.
My partner of 9 years has always smoked weed, on and off, more on that  off!  I have asked him to stop. It causes so many problems. I blame it for everything. Him not doing things around the house. Him snapping and not being able to deal with things as a normal level headed man would. It is the butt of all my arguments. He works nights and today he has come home smoke free, (he has run out but says he was stopping anyway). I had no idea today was the day.  My son was rather naughty today and ended up punching his dad. My partner was mad and stormed back downstairs. I just thought not again. Anyway I shouted, he shouted, then all he'll broke loose and once again I am back in that situation where he is leaving us. He became abusive verbally to me and physically as he threw a pair of jeans at me. He says the only reason he smokes weed is because of me and he does it to cope with my winging and moaning. I feel like I am the lowest of the low. And I have even turned round this morning begged him not to go and begged him to get more weed and that he does not have to stop smoking.  I am just lost and broken and have no where to turn.  When he has these irrational episodes he becomes abusive to me verbally and he has no reasoning what's so ever.  I tried to explain to him to calm down and that how he was behaving was not rational but he says he has clarity and I treat him like dirt and he is leaving. I don't know what to do!   And with all that going on I had to send my 7 year old little boy off to school.


Icarus Trust
11 Feb 2015

How horrible for you! Try to remember that how he behaves isn't your fault and that he has to take responsibility for himself! I am sorry that you don't feel you know where to turn so I hope that you might try contacting our charity called The Icarus Trust. We work with people like you who are having to cope with the effect of somebody else's addiction because we know how hard that is.  If you contact us we could put you in touch with one of our 'Family Friends'. These are trained volunteers who you could talk with. They have lots of experience of supporting people like yourself and may be it would help you not to feel so alone.
Please contact us on or visit the website
This is a free service so I hope you will give it a try and will find that it helps.
Good luck!

11 Feb 2015

Oh god, feel for you..please, never think it's your fault because it isn't....and how sad your little boy had to go school after this...look after you and your son..your partner is a grown up and CHOOSES to treat you this way....weed is a horrible drug and those who use it regularly can become paranoid, lethargic,and don't have to put up with it Hunni....stay safe and concentrate on you and your son...perhaps in a quieter moment, ask I'd he needs help or support....take care x

11 Feb 2015

Hi there

He has said a few times he would call lifeline and receive help to stop smoking, but that has never happened. After these episodes whe. He has another smoke he calms down and sees the error of his ways but I am so scared what will happen now. He is asleep as he is working tonight and I am worried of the way he will be. I love him but I also hate him and I hate that he has such a selfish addiction. He says he smokes because of me and that he can't cope with me sober. He will not recognise or take responsibility. I have done this year after year. I dread the day my son may come across what he is really doing

11 Feb 2015

Addiction of any kind is robs the person of a normal life....unfortunately until he's ready then nothing anyone says will mean son has a son, and was a selfish tw@, thankfully he hit his rock bottom and in's hard hun, but like I said when it starts effecting your little boy, you may need to re think what is best for the both of you...take care Hunni xxxx

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