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Cannabis is ruining my family

Posted by Stevie on 4 December 2017.

I felt very lucky to have been blessed with 3 beautiful boys but it was hard work, particularly with the older two, as they were both naughty and got into trouble at school. The older boy was very successful and continues to do extremely well in his working life, however he is addicted to smoking pot. He works very hard but away from his job, all he does is smoke cannabis. Our middle son is even worse....his whole life revolves around cannabis smoking, from morning till night. He messed up his A levels and has been doing dead end bar jobs for two years now. We are desperately trying to help him find a good job that will improve his future. They are 23 and 20 and cannabis has ruined our lives....sometimes i wonder when the nightmare will end and long for them to move out of home. Our youngest son is the polar opposite...never in trouble, very responsible and extremely upset that his brothers take drugs. He is angry that he has to live with this, as are me and my husband. We have tried everything to make them stop but nothing has changed and they refuse to give it up. Things got so bad that one of them had to move in with my parents, which helped the situation for a while, however, he is now running rings round them as well. I hope and pray everyday that they will grow out of this and i will get my boys back because i feel so desperately worried and ashamed. To the outside world we are the perfect happy family , married for ages, three handsome lads but our daily lives are full of resentment, anger and disbelief....Does anyone else have a similar experience?


4 Dec 2017

My 16 year old son is addicted to cannabis although if you ask him he says he can stop at anytime if he wanted too .. he is completely ruling my life, he got excluded from school nearly 18monetbs ago and has done nothing since .. we have had to move house out of my home town as he had got drugs from dealer and couldnt pay them which led to me and my daughters lives being threatened ..we are now just settling in a new home but hes started again found new dealers to supply him ... throws things when he doesnt get his own way or i refuse to give him money .. smashes my house up .. verbally abuses me .. terrorises me daily .. im at the end of my tether and dont know what to do

4 Dec 2017

Like you said to everyone even my closest family think everything is good .. but daily im churning away with hatred for ghe person he has become ... hes not the boy i brought up .. its like looking at someone elses child ..

4 Dec 2017

Hi Carol, thanks for your reply....i feel your pain!! Cannabis smoking is becoming a serious problem in our society and i think there are so many people around the country, suffering as we are. I have called drug helplines a few times for reassurance but ultimately i feel there is little we can do about the situation. We have even called the police, when our middle son became aggressive but nothing changed. I think for me, its the aggression i find most difficult to deal with, even though the rituals and the smell causes us to feel constantly frustrated. The really low point came when we discovered he was dealing to friends. I flushed about £250 worth of cannabis down the toilet....not an easy task i might add!!!! He went crazy and turned our whole world upside down with rage. I feel sorry for our 14 year old, he started his GCSEs this year. Please know that you are not alone...

4 Dec 2017

There is a good telephone helpline called FRANK 
It gives advice to users and their is open 24 hours a day and has been helpful to me a few times.
Nobody has a definitive answer but it does help to get some perspective and some support. I think trying to build your son's confidence by making him believe there is a good future out there for him might be worth a try but i understand that the levels of aggression make communication very difficult. Right now i am praying that my middle son can get the apprenticeship he has applied for otherwise he could descend into greater drug use or even criminal activity

Icarus Trust
1 Jan 2018

Hi Stevie,
I am sorry to read how your family life has been so badly affected by your two son's cannabis habits. I understand how hard this is to live with.
 I see that you have used a helpline. Just to let you know that The Icarus Trust is a charity specifically set up to offer support to people dealing with the impact of the addictions of family or friends. If you feel it would be helpful to get in touch please do. We have trained and experienced people you could talk with which may be of some help to you.
You can contact us on or visit the website
Good luck.

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