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Fed up of it all now

Posted by Wife1975 on 7 November 2014.

Ok so I know the problems are nowhere near as bad as other people's but my husband definitely has a bit of an issue with drinking and I am so concerned for his health and that my kids will miss out on a dad.  He doesn't get drunk and smash the house up but he still drinks around ten beers every single day. Even if it is 7 at night and he has run out he will go buy more for the two hours he will be up and more often than not will drink it all before he goes to bed. If he hasn't got any left or ran out of more to get some for that day he will either be sulking all day or he will scrape around trying to find every last penny to be able to buy a can or bottle of beer. I mentioned it to him in the past and he agreed to cut down, we came to an agreement we would buy a case with the food shop to last the week. That case of twenty is normally gone by the second night so then every night until we next buy a case he will buy about 8 cans a night as he says its "cheaper". He was recently admitted to hospital and he lied about his drinking to the doctor , he has started lying to me about the drinking and making excuses.  On the very odd occasion he has been drunk he is not nice to be around. All of this is worse by the fact we are in thousands of pounds of debt because he puts beer and fags before everything else. I won't leave my bank card or money around as he has taken that in the past and lied saying he never knew I had money. I've had money given to the children in my coat pockets that he has taken then lied about ( I know he took it as I can see him go through my pockets through the glass door then when he goes out i check and it's gone). I am completely in attracted to him anymore I just see a man who as much as he says it isn't true is only bothered about fags and beer, if he has them he is happy if he doesn't he just snaps all the time at us, not to mention he just smells of fags and stale beer when he tries to come near me which really puts me off. 
He doesn't want to change he just tells me what he thinks I want to hear, I'm sick to death of it all. This isn't a marriage this is a flipping nightmare. It spoils it all so much because taking all that out the equation he is a kind man but this is ruining everything.


12 Nov 2014

Unfortunately hes an addict 😢!!hes not ready to admit he has a problem so there is no way of helping him YET!!i say yet because every addict will hit there low!!he may aleady know hes got a problem deep down but hes in denial.its up to you if u are willing to wait for him to realise and get help or if u decide its too much!!either is a choice that can only b made by u.i hope u find your happiness xx

Icarus Trust
17 Nov 2014

I am sorry to read about the  difficult time you are having dealing with the impact of your husband's drinking. I'm wondering whether you might like /need some support for yourself?
 I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust who have trained volunteers called Family Friends, experienced in helping people in similar situations to yourself. If you are interested you would be assigned to one of these Family Friends. They would listen and talk to you in complete confidence and may be able to help you to find a way forward. 
Please contact Icarus Trust on or visit our website
I really hope that this will help you.

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