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fiancee in rehab

Posted by lost33 on 6 August 2015.

This is my first post and I'm not sure where to start.

My fiancee has been admitted into rehab on a 28 day programme a few days ago and I'm lost and scared of the future. We have 2 young children and he has been addicted to prescription pills for a few years which he buys from research chemical companies online. This has evolved and I no longer recognise him most of the time. He hasn't contributed to family life for a while although he held down a job and paid a lot of the bills he was recently made redundant and the situation deteriorated. I gave him an ultimatum go to rehab or let me raise our family alone. 

The situation got dangerous pills left laying about where a 2 and 4 year old could get them. 

I've not heard anything from him akthough I know he has his phone there. My life has been overtaken by this addiction and my children's childhood is suffering as they are growing up without a father notwithstanding him being present in the house he is just not there.

I always believed if I could get him to rehab everything would work out but since he has been gone I seem to be reading so many stories where the addict never recovers and relapses are a permanent and devestating feature of so many partners lives.

I love him but I'm scared about my childrens future and I am scared he will never be the man I built hopes abd dreams with. I don't know how to live a life that I have no control over. Any advice would be great.


8 Aug 2015

I wish I could give some advice but I just wanted to reply to say I can relate to your story. I found out 2 years ago that my partner was addicted to cocaine. He racked up an enormous amount of debt & i thought we were on the brink of losing everything. We also have a 2 & 4 year old. Since his come clean with his addiction he has done really well to stay off it but there have been relapses. 

I often wonder if this will ever go away & without professional help I really don't think it will. There's not a day that doesn't go by when Im not checking the account for money going missing or suspicious of his behaviour or what his doing. I think with help and support I'm sure your partner can get better but it is a long road & it isn't something that can change overnight. I really sympathise with you as I know how hard it can be. Your partner has done a step in the right direction by going into rehab & I hope it helps him to recover from this. Make sure you get help for yourself too, this is something I haven't done & 2 years down the road I am still struggling with feelings of resentment & hurt with what he's put us through. I've decided I'm going to see a councillor. 
You have to stay strong for your kids & only you can decide if you want your future to be with him or not. It is really hard but stay strong. X

25 Aug 2015

If he returns still addicted
You will have your children taken into care
You and your children come first because I'm a grandmother taking care of 3 grandchildren because of my daughter and Son in laws addiction to drugs and she has relapsed so many times and she got him on it
So my advice is to put all your resources into safe guarding yourself and children
Only your husband can do this you can't do it for him
Good luck

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