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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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Posted by fubar on 7 August 2016.

So I've read a lot of posts on this site and I am sorry for all of your struggles.

My story seems to be the opposite to most. I am 25 with 3 sisters. We were born into a world with 2 alcoholic parents, and while we were young I didn't realise that my sister was getting us breakfast and taking us to school because my parents were too hungover, or that my clothes were too small, dirty or ripped because alcohol was the priority. This is something we have been living with for our entire lives and I go through stages of how I feel about it but I just don't want to do this any more. My sisters deserve better than the cards they were dealt. 
A little over a year ago we lost our mother to cancer, and although previous to her illness they had always been classed as functioning alcoholics, going to work and seeming normal, this has changed for our dad. he has lost his job, with no intention of getting a new one! He is in thousands and thousands of pounds worth of debt and he has almost lost the house once before. So 3 of us living at home in a situation we can't bare, we need to move out for our mental health, but that leaves dad to pay his debt, the bills, feed himself and generally survive on his own! And a huge part of me says, he's 55, he's a grown up he will figure it out and the other part of me thinks he will drink himself to death or end up homeless! 

In what realm as a parent is this an acceptable position to put your children in? 

And in what realm can a child allow this yo happen to a parent.


concerned mum
12 Aug 2016

Hi...I wish more people would comment on each others posts there are a lot of people struggling with no responses ......Your dad is a grown man and should nt be placing you in this position...But he is ill ...but through the choices he has made in life and the paths he has chosen to take...There is help out there for him but he has to want to change his life and you cant make him to do that...I understand he is your dad and you love him dearly but you too are entitled to enjoy your life in the way that you choose to live...I am mum to a son in prison for understand where your worry of abandoning comes from...But you know sometimes its much easier to support someone from the outside rather than living and breathing it everyday...You don't have to completely desert your dad...If you feel its going to be better to move out then do just that...You can at least then go back to your own home for some time out and visit and help him again the next day but at least you get some space and sanity from the situation...Hope this helps ...Good luck xxx

Icarus Trust
5 Sep 2016

There is help out there for your dad but also for you. The Icarus Trust is a charity that supports the families and friends of people with addictions. maybe talking to one of our experienced trained volunteers would help you make sense of things and also find out what other help is available.
You can contact us on or visit the website
Good luck.

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