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We care, for the better.

A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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I feel so helpless!

Posted by jesssam1 on 12 December 2014.

My partner has been battling with cocaine for some time now and his habit doesn't just effect him it effects all those around him, myself included. I have tried to be supportive, I have tried the soft approach, the aggressive, the crying, I have tried everything that I possibly can. I love this man so very much and it breaks my heart to think that what he is doing could possibly kill him. I worry non stop, wondering has he done it and although every time I catch him out for it and he promises me he can change I know it isn't something he is in control off but that doesn't make it any less upsetting and I often ask myself why am I not enough for him to stop?! The feelings of hopelessness and emptiness are a regular part of my day and I have become depressed as a result of this but will not confide in anyone as this all did not come to light until I was 6 months pregnant, I now have a beautiful 3 month old and I know that although he doesn't do it around her that he shouldn't be apart of her life while he has any dealings with it but at the same time I feel torn because I don't want to give up on him and him get worse but for my own sanity and my daughter I am thinking that is the only way. Has anyone else been in a similar situation and can anyone give me any advice?


Icarus Trust
12 Dec 2014

Sadly lots of people are in similar situations to yourself having to deal with the effect of another's addiction. The Icaurus Trust is a charity which tries to support people like yourself. if you contact us you would be put in touch with one of our trained  'Family Friends' who would talk to you in complete confidence. This might help you to find a way forward and see what other help is available if you want it.
You can contact us on or visit the website
This is a free service so I hope you will try it and it will be a help to you.
Good luck.

16 Dec 2014

Children don't ask to be around addiction....your priority has to be your baby,,I'm a mother of a recovering addict,who has a small child. I worked closely with baby's mum to keep stability in the home, and whilst he was addicted decided he could only see the baby when not using....he felt I was taking sides, but that was far from it....he can understand why we made the choices we made, and thankfully. He plays a big part in his sons life..he now works to provide, and is trying his hardest to remain clean if alcohol and drugs....every clean day is a blessing xx think of your child, because whilst he is using. Life for you and your child will never be normal...take care x

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