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is this the ending of my story?

Posted by Franticmum on 15 July 2014.

hi all especially Fiona and Susie 
well its been a sad old couple of weeks was on holiday when we got a call from my son he was distraught not making any sense, it turned out that a friend of his for many years had collapsed while with my son, an ambulance was called and he was rushed into hospital, sadly he had a massive heart attack which led to a coma the result being his life support was turned off and he passed away, I attended his funeral today, Im mentioning this because this man was only 36 yrs old, from being 16 he had been an addict, suffered mental health issues etc etc, does it sound familiar ladies ? his death was not due to the heart attack but of organ failure from many years of drug abuse, I sat in the church listening to everyone saying he was a lovely young man, polite and well mannered, not a word was mentioned of his addiction,  20 yrs of stealing, lying was somehow forgotten, I spoke briefly to his mum who I have known for many years a good hardworking proud lady and she said to me "I knew this would happen, at long last I can concentrate on my other sons its such a relief that the years of stress and heartache is over" 
And my son did not attend the funeral he said he couldnt bear it instead he went and did what he does best was so out of it he didnt even know we were in his flat, 
I feel so numb and drained, how long before we are in that situation, I found out that he had overdosed 5 times since easter, but after being admitted to hospital discharged himself as soon as he was able, no one can get through to him that it could have been him in that coffin today, he doesnt seem to care about anything any more, 
I've wrote this down not just to clear my mind but if there is the slightest chance that it serves as a wakeup call that heroin and other drugs not only affect everyone around the user but can kill, sadly I fear its too late for my son to change and if he doesnt want to there is absolutely nothing I can do to help him
sending cyber hugs and prayers for everyone affected by addiction

take care look after yourselves and keep strong
Sue Xxxx


15 Jul 2014

Hi Sue........Ive read your post with tears in my eyes...Its so hard sometimes to hear these sad  facts about how drugs take lives... Our children are good..its the drugs that change them...And its never too late...its just hard for them to see it at the moment... Im still not talking to to my son...Ive told him not to come to our house until he starts to sort his crap out...Yesterday he went and had blood tests done and a liver check.....until they get get the results he wont know if he will be able to take the anitbuse drug.....Yes its one step, but im sick of his BS....i HAVENT GIVEN UP ON HIM....but I want him to start taking responsibility for his life....and until I can see marked improvements then I cant be around him....Sue your son does care, deep down he cares, but the drugs mask all of those feelings....I paray that ALL those we know who have succumbed to drugs find the strength to FIGHT, with every last breath....THEY SO DESERVE to be HAPPY, leading a fulfilled life....Prays, love and hope to all especially you Sue, Fiona and those I have conversed with xxxxhugs hunny xxxx

16 Jul 2014

Thank you Susie for your wise words, it was a dark day yesterday, all I could think about was it could have been my lads funeral, he has had so many health scares this past year or so all drug related, I cant describe the pain of walking away from him, I know I have to do this and what happens next is entirely up to him, and what of the future will I ever trust him again? I fear not too much has happened over too many years to not just me but all our family, 
In my heart I know I will never truly abandon him he is my son, I just hate with a passion what he has done to himself and us......
we will keep strong together Susie love 
take care 
love Sue Xx

16 Jul 2014

Morning Sue, Just checking in to see how you are.....That dark cloud hangs around alot for families of addicts..My OH, who is stepfather is in contact with my son....he is an amazing man, who has always been there for my son...he has great strength, and has kept me sane many times...He knows how hurt I am, and can understand me pulling away fully.....My son has another court appearance the end of the week, and no doubt will do another stint in prison..,its never ending, and im not shocked any more....I think not being involved with him at the moment is my way of dealing with his shit life.......I have made the choice and at the moment its the right thing for me......Sue the rest of the family need you parents of addicts we have to keep some kind of normality....and that is heart breaking...knowing that one of our kids is out there and shitting all over their life.....Im not religious at all, but I havent prayed so much since the preverbial hit the fan.....stay strong hunni, and know its their fight...lets hope they take the bull by the horns soon and stop xxx hugs sweetheart xxxx

16 Jul 2014

Hiya Ladie's I feel a bit hopeful for us all tonight, you see I met with my cousin today, for the 1st time in about 13yrs.. he had been a heroin addict for around 15yrs, locked away in his bedroom injecting heroin, a shadow of his former self!! He is clean, has been for quiet a few yrs now.. We hugged like we did as kid's and the warm'th i felt off him was so good..I'm spending the day with him tomorrow, If he can do it, so can our boy's .. We won't be beaten ladie's stay strong love to you both Fiona xxx

26 Jul 2014

Hey Fiona.....that was just the news I needed to hear......I am in awe if those addicts that beat this terrible illness........hugs to you and your son xxxxx

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