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Living with a cocaine adict

Posted by Wits end on 16 October 2016.

Ive been with my partner for five years no children. When we first met he knew i hated drugs and had spent 18 years with a man that drank took drugs and was very violent and controling. He also knew how hard it was for me to get out of that relationship and pick myself up. After we had been together a couple years i learnt he had a very traumatic childhood and a cocaine habbitt but that he hadent touched drugs for years. But for the past 18 months he has devoloped the addiction again. Hes not abusive and works 5 or 6 days a week. Its been so bad the last 8 months thow. The lies, he will do whatever it takes to hide it from me. Even when he has white powder atound his nose he will still look me in the eye and deny it. Im at my wits end. Ive tried everything. Being understanding, being angry, cry my heart out begging and threatning to leave. He promises hel stop but it just repeats. He crys and says he feels guilt every day and he hates what he has become but he wont get help he says hel do it on his own. He says he uses to block the memories of childhood. I have to hide all the money and i feel like his mum. He will ptetend hes lost his wallett, hel say he had to pay a parking ticket you name it hes used any means neccesary. When he gets his wages it goes to his dealers for what he owes. He is spending close to a thousand pound a week. Im alone here as all my family libe 120 miles away. I dont leave my flat and i talk to no one. I love him with all my heart but i dont know what to do.


Icarus Trust
17 Oct 2016

I'm so sad to read your post. I can see that this is a very hard time for you and even worse because you've been all through it before. I feel sorry that you are feeling alone in this but there is some help out there. 
The Icarus Trust is a charity that supports people like yourself who are dealing with a loved one's addiction. We have trained volunteers called 'Family Friends' who you could talk with if you get in touch. they would understand what you are going through and talking with one of them might help you to work out a way forward. 
You can contact us on or visit the website
I hope that you can get some support.

Wits end
17 Oct 2016

thank you so much for your reply it's nice to know I'm not completely alone I will definitely give your charity a call thank you again

Icarus Trust
17 Oct 2016

Good I'm glad to hear it. Really hope it helps you.

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