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lost on what to do next

Posted by mrsp on 7 June 2015.

hi my husband was a heroin addict many years ago and had been clean had a job we was doing really well,but although I knew he was using something again and iv talked screamed cried he was in otal denial.
Then just oer a week ago I kicked himout I just couldn't cope with it anymore,he has finally come clean and told me he is very heavily using crack cocaine.
He has asked to come back home and my hearts yearns for him but I also had a mental breakdown a couple months ago due to all the stress and have now ended up n medication myself!! I just don't know if I can listen to another lie if I can go through the feelings of neglect or I say 2nd best and I didn't know that sites like this exsisted.  So if anyone can give me any advice I would be grateful he is already seeing a councillor through lifeline but that is because he has been addicted to subbys behind my back for over a year I just feel cheated really. HE said they wont be able to help because he already getting a script for the subby addiction my head is all over place and I apologise for spelling mistakes first time iv done anything like this thanks for listening.


8 Jun 2015

Mrsp, you poor thing, it's just so hard. I find reading about the drug in question gives you something to arm yourself with. I believe Crack cocaine actually permanently changes your brain chemistry and the way that serotonin (the happy chemical) is produced or utilised. This means that someone who has been on crack can not feel happiness "naturally" for the rest of their lives and often end up needing antidepressants to be able to cope. Research has probably moved on a lot since I was reading about it. My family member managed to kick the habit with the help of counselling several years ago but she was driven to succeed as she found out she was pregnant, the child is in primary school now and is on Ritalin for ADHD, something that seems to be linked to the exposure to crack cocaine whilst in the womb. The ex-user is a wonderful person and fantastic mother but she has to live with the fact that her child has suffered due to her habit. Your partner needs to make the decision to stop on his own and must know there are consequences to the choices he makes. Tell him his drug addiction is making him miserable and remember you have a choice in this, you do not have to spend your life worrying about him. Crack is a psychological addiction like nicotine, it is as, if not more addictive than heroine but has no physical withdrawal symptoms so he won't need any medication to actually come off it, just incredible will power. I hope things improve for you and remember to put yourself first, you are no good to anyone if you let this break you x

Icarus Trust
22 Jun 2015

Hi. I'm so sorry that you are going through such a tough time. If you would like to talk through what you are having to deal with please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports friends and families of addicts. we offer a free service called 'family Friends'. These are experienced trained volunteers that you could talk through your situation with and they would understand where you are coming from. It often helps to share with someone who will understand and may help you to make sense of what you are having to face.
You can contact us on or visit the website
I hope that you can find some support for yourself. Good luck!

15 Jan 2017

I to have a 39 year old son whom has been addicted to crack for the past 20 years.I completly agree with Flo"above".6 monthes ago,my son "following yet another 3 day binge"had a masive heart attack.The paramedics worked on him for 30 min,befor they were able to take him to a special cardio arrest unit.The main artery to his heart was blocked with a blood clot.He had a stenf fitted,so the blood could continue to flow.This is my 2nd comment on hear.My first coment,was a detailed discription of the hellish place a mother endures,of a sons crack addiction.My son came out of hospitail,and was heavily using again within 2 weeks.There is only one thing in the world,that makes my son feel normal,and give him any motivation to live,work,and to cope with this life,and that is to smoke his crack.I know that,or i strongly believe that to be true.Our sons are very ill.But no matter how much you love them,you must not keep catching them when they fall.
Not put a safety net in there way,so as to make there fall a lilttle softer.It takes courage,to let your beloved son,to fall and reach the bottom.It may take many years.And sometimes,they reach the bottom,only to fall yet again.You will always be there waiting,but never give them a thing to enable them to use.Money is my sons worse enemy,but stil he works to fund his addiction.So after 20 year,s,i am still waiting for the rock bottom.My heart is not broken,but as yours,in a thousand pieces.I hope i have given a little hope and comfort to the hell we are in right now.

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