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Making the right decision

Posted by Shelby on 14 October 2016.

My brother is a re occurring addict. He's just come out of a rehab after a year. He was taking 50 tremadol tablets a day and  any other tablets he could get his hands on we found out after he started having seizures and nearly died. I found out last week he has been taking heroin and is now living with me my two children and my partner. But I'm so lost I don't no what to do and it's tearing me apart. He makes excuses and disappears comes home and is nodding so I no he's been using. Our parents were addicts and it's safe to say we didn't have an easy childhood infact it was really awful. My dad has been in aa and been sober 10 years now. He was the one who found him the rehab and got him back on his feet. My dad is great and has best intentions but he is intimadating man what he says goes. I Haven't told him about my told him about my brother yet even tho I no if anyone can help him it's my dad. He knows the right paths to go down and has lots of organisations he can contact. i just feel a great deal of guilt for thinking of going to him. Iv taken care of my brother since he was 6 he's now 24. It's always been me and him he's like my son. If I could help him I would but he's lying to me telling me he tried heroin once but I found it on him other day he doesn't want help I no that. My question is am I doing the right thing going to my dad and basically forcing him to get help again like we have so many times before or do I have to wait till he really wants the help?


Icarus Trust
17 Oct 2016

Hi Shelby,
I'm so sorry that you are having to cope with such difficult issues around your brother. It must be very hard knowing what to do for the best.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust. We support the friends and families of addicts because we know how hard it is for people like yourself. We have a free service called 'family Friends'. These are experienced trained volunteers. You could talk with one of them which might help you to find a way ahead. They would be able to help you know what support is out there for your brother. 
You can contact us on or visit the website
I hope that this helps.

30 Jan 2017

Hi Shelby, My Daughter did exactly the same thing, allowed her brother to live with her and her family. Unfortunately like you, she learned he wasn't being truthful, he was using every day in her home. I had to ask him to leave as she like you felt guilty. Unfortunately drug abusers are very selfish and manipulative they know how to make people feel sorry for them. think about your self, your life, your childrens lives and ask him to go. If he really wants to get clean, he will do it and you can support him while he is sober. He knows where he can get the help. Only professionals can help him. If he stays he will suck the life out of you, your life, your childrens lives and there will be nothing but misery, stress and worry. Release him with love. You know you love him and you know you will support him when he is being treated. You your partner and your children come first. Be strong, get some support for you. Hopefully your Brother will find a way of receiving the help he needs. xx

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