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My Daughter is a heroine addict and my grandson is suffering

Posted by asureme on 24 September 2015.

I need advice on how to get custody of my 7 year old grandson, I have exhausted every avenue and the only way forward is to take him to live with us.  My daughter is a user and so far has not demonstrated any desire to stop using, she tries to make me believe that she is but she really isn't.  She grew up in a happy family environment, she had a lovely bedroom and had a lovely relationship with us and her younger brother, she was a happy little girl.  Her father and I separated when she was about 15 and she was privy to the why's and where for's and was reasonably okay with the split.  However, I am trying to set a starting point to her addiction but I know it isn't that simple.  I love our grandson so much and it is breaking my heart to see him suffering and worse being labelled, what can I do?  Please help me x


26 Sep 2015

This is hard,I know cause ive been your daughter my son comes from a loving soon as I knew him and his GF were doing drugs I gave them an ultimatum...they ignored it, so I contacted SS....a hard decision but one I had to services worked with both of them and thankfully the situation became far better...they split up for a while,but remained friends and worked hard at their parenting.throughout all of it, I have supported...unfortunately my son is working to stop drinking.cause when he drinks ,drugs become involved....I don't enable, and if he has a relapse he can't see his's so hard, but your grandchild deserves to be safe.....can I just add, I use to think perhaps it was my fault, but there are plenty of kids who don't do's the individuals choice....what I've learned is unless the addict really wants to get better, then the blame will a,ways fall in others.stay strong and hugs xx

6 Nov 2015

I can relate to your story. My Daughter is an addict. She has Three sons. I have raised concerns with social services who are supporting her at present but it is very clear she is not coping and the children are now under a protection order. She has only a few months to prove she can provide for them. I dont feel she can so will be faced with decisions regarding the long term care of the Two youngest boys ages 9 and 3. I don't live in the same country as them which adds to the anxiety. There seems no end to the sadness at times.x

Icarus Trust
16 Nov 2015

This is a horrible situation to be in. If you would like to talk to someone who would understand and have experience of what you are going through please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the family and friends of addicts. We could put you in touch with one of our trained volunteers called  'Family Friends'. Talking with them might help you to find a way ahead. 
You can contact us on or visit the website
I hope this helps. Good luck with everything.

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