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my wedding day

Posted by mel c on 2 June 2017.

My brother is a heroin addict, I'm due to get married 2 weeks Saturday in Austria, where we grew up and he is such a mess right now that the doctors wont let him leave the country because for the second time he is on a methadone program but only just restarted, I'm totally gutted, our dad died 18 years ago suddenly while we were really young and we have all struggled to come to terms and deal with this and I know that's what james is using as an excuse for his downfall, I get that and understand where hes coming from because that s exactly where I'm coming from, and I'm not perfect, I have my demons and problems, ive self harmed, ii drink too much and use cocaine when I shouldn't but what ive seen and am seeing of my brothers herion addiction is heart breaking and painful, its destroying my mum, aged her by about 10 years more than she should be, she pays for him to have heroine everyday, she is literally skint, its bad enough she was swindled out of all the the insurance money she received from my dads death by her partner now and my brother is bleeding her dry, he blames her for his addiction, he bully s her and mentally abuses her, he says things like dad would hate u for finding someone else, when we were due to fly to Austria to organise wedding stuff he told her I hope your plane crashes and you die!! what kind of child says that to their parent? not just your parent but the only one you have left that is always there for you? my own brother disgusts me, his selfish addiction and bullying means I'm losing out on my mum and my children are losing out on a grandma because she is so obsessed with james she is missing out on my babies, she cant have them over night because shes always looking after him, hes 32 years old!! she has to lock up everything because he steals it all to sell!! I made her report him when he stole her ipad because I brought that for her as a present a couple of years ago and I cant afford for her to lose that!! she hated me for making her do that, he only got a caution but the cash exchange shop had to give it back for free. Please please is there anyone else out there going through what I am? I just   don't know what to do, I love my little brother so much but I have a family of my own now that I need to think about and worse still I have to watch him destroy and kill my mum.


Icarus Trust
26 Jul 2017

Hi Mel,
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry that you are having such a bad time. It must be very difficult to watch your brother's addiction and to see what an awful affect it has on your mum, as well as yourself.
I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust. We provide support for family and friends of people who are affected by people with addictions. We offer a free service called 'Family Friends'. These are experienced trained volunteers who would understand what you are going through. If you feel that it would help to talk with one of them please get in touch.
You can contact us on or visit the website
I hope that you can get some help.

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