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Need help and advice over stepson smoking weed

Posted by Juls29 on 13 October 2016.

Need help step son smoking weed
Really don't know what to do for the best , my step son who 19 been smoking weed for good  few years now and is causing huge issues in our marriage. 
A year and half his dad kicked him out over it and money and he lived with a drug friend up road. I stupidly felt sorry for him after 6 months let him back . We told him on the condition no drug stuff in house. We a year later 3 times have found things to do with drugs in his room which he always Denys is his !! He lost his apprentiship and has been working at Tesco but only 18 hours and runs out of money after a week. He has no interest in pushing for more hours or finding another job. We have been telling him he needs to earn more money. 
His dad buries his head in the sand , avoiding the subject and it's me that has the arguments and gets stressed and it needs his dad to have a proper go. Last week I had my step son tell me I'm a selfish *****, who knows nothing about family , my decorating ****. And it's not my home it's his dad's !!! Not first time I been told that one. After 8 years of him living with us I had enough. He been difficult along. We tried counselling when he was at school over his mother disowning him at 11. He has no contact with her. His sister had same experience . 
But another story. I talked to FRANK last weekend after finding yet another huge drug bong in room. And was close to going to police. Just know he get criminal record. 
They advised me not too, be ages before council would get him housed as he would need to go and say we evicting him. May try ymca. As it make me feel unsafe knowing he had contact with dealers and living in our house. . I hate the stress and ruining my relationship. I have no time for step son at moment . And am close to walking away.


Adfam Administrator
14 Oct 2016

Hi there

Thanks for posting. We are very sorry to hear about your issues, it sounds like you've got a huge amount of things to deal with.

A couple of organisations which may be able to give you some advice:
Release provides free legal advice on drug issues, and a helpline - 020 7324 2989. 
Relate offers advice and relationship counselling for couples, and also provides advice for parents and other family members to help families deal with difficult times – 

Also, Families Anonymous run a national helpline which you may find useful, and specialise in supporting families affected by substance use - 0845 1200 660.

Lastly, if you ever feel like you just need to talk to someone and share what you are going through you can call the Samaritans at any time on 08457 90 90 90.

Wishing you all the best


Icarus Trust
17 Oct 2016

I am so sad to read of how difficult your step son's drug issues are making life for you. 
The Icarus Trust is a charity that is there to support people like yourself who are dealing with the impact of another's addiction. It might help to talk with one of our experienced trained volunteers who would understand where you are coming from.
You can contact us on or visit the website
I hope that you are able to get some support. Good luck.

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