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Still having my heart broken

Posted by Donna on 2 February 2017.

Hi, my name is Donna, Ive posted before.

I have been married 16 years in April. My husband has been using cocaine for 25 years. He is a binger. He sometimes goes 2 weeks without a binge, but the last 4 months he has been bingeing every week. I cannot begin to tell you the heartache this is causing me. Even though he is not taking daily, it feels like i am loosing him. His personality changes somewhat, he becomes cold, distant, uncaring. I cant reach him. I am seriously considering leaving him. I have seen a divorce lawyer. I really love this man but he isnt going to change - i just have to accept that i cant do anymore. He has had two affairs, been to prison 3 times and is when on a come down is verbally abusive to me. When he is 'On one' as he calls it, he wont answer my calls or respond to my text messages. I feel alone, unloved, devastated. I wish i could just stop loving him and get the hell out


Icarus Trust
6 Feb 2017

Hi Donna
Thank you for posting your story. I'm so sorry things are so bad for you.
 If you need someone to talk to maybe you would like to contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support for the families and friends of addicts. 
if you contact us we  would put you in touch with one of our Family Friends. These are our experienced trained volunteers who would understand what you are living with.
You can contact us on or visit the website 
All the best.

14 Mar 2017

Hi Donna,

I have only been with my partner 2 years and recently his cocaine habit has got so much worse. He uses now about every 3-4 days and like yourself when he is on it he completely changes, the way he talks, what he says, the way he acts, he becomes so selfish and I feel like I am nothing to him. He lies to me and doesn't answer my calls or texts. I could leave my house for hours and he wouldn't even realise I wasn'4 there.  Reading your story doesn't leave me with much hope...... but it is so hard when you love someone :(

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