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was i falling for a drug addict the whole time?

Posted by gill33 on 18 November 2014.

i need some advice on what to say and do. I met this boy through work started talking to him he told me he was a recovering addict. I accepted it and liked him for who he was now. meanwhile I hate drugs I never did them I'm totally against them. were still together he was doing IOP programs and staying clean. he then tells me he has to be honest and told me he was going to jail for 30days bc of an old charge from two years ago. I believed him I accepted him and told him I was there every step of the way. I finally thought about it and he isn't jail he is in rehab for 30 days and used jail to cover it up. he has no clue i know. im writing him a letter asking how he is and basically telling him that I know the truth & asking him why he wasn't honest. im confused i don't know if i fell for him or a drug addict? any ideas on what to write to him. I feel betrayed hurt stupid confused and crushed. I still want to be there for him & pick up where we left off. but if I fell for a drug addict I don't think I can do it. but I don't know. any help would be much appreciated thank you!


Icarus Trust
18 Nov 2014

There is help out there! I work for a charity called Icarus Trust who supports people to deal with the impact of living with addicts. They offer a free service of a trained volunteer who would talk to you in complete confidence. These people have usually experienced living with addicts in their own lives so would understand what you are going through.  They may be able to help you make sense of the mixed feelings you have.
Please contact Icarus Trust on or visit our website
Good luck!

18 Nov 2014

Hi Gill, firstly well done to your partner for getting help...that's such a big step for him...I may be wrong but I wonder if he lied to perhaps keep you from knowing the truth, scared he may loose you? Please don't let the label "drug addict" define the person you love. I'm sure you feel at a loss what to say,snd no one can tell you,....hugs Hunni, it's hard but you sound like a caring partner. There's plenty of people here who live with addicts, or those trying to recover.....take care xxxxxx

21 Nov 2014

Can't take no more said exactly as I would have said. You fell for a man that has an addiction, don't let his addition blur your thoughts about who he is.
Be proud of him for going to rehab and trying to break free from his addiction. He wants it as much as you do. He maybe wanted to protect you. Be proud if who he is and stay focused on his courage and strength because the journey he has embarked on is very tough and "he's on it"... Stay positive with him, let him know he can trust you. People with addiction to heroin  are labelled 'just a dirty junkie" but that's so far from the truth it's wicked and unfair, they are still human beings with feelings, the addiction shouldnt determine who he is, I can assure you he lives to regret that day he first tried it, we can only be thankful we havent... Keep strong x

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