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Back Again

Posted by concerned mum on 24 December 2014.

Hi all who remember me....Its been a while since I have posted not because things have changed much just thought I was learning to deal with things better.   But no i have fell to earth with a mighty thud again..I have a nineteen year old son drug,alcohol and gambling dependant...I have been on anti depressants and receiving councilling until recently....Things were going ok he got a job and started buying things for his flat and seemed to be easier to talk to etc etc,,,,But eh oh were back to square one again ....working three days getting wages going on a bender not turning up for work getting sacked then asking me for money for food electric and gas....Ive told him no.....Now again for the umteeenth time im a shit mother he is not coming for christmas dinner as he says he does nt want to put on a front with his family who mean nothing to him....Its horrible how can i sit at a table christmas day enjoy a meal with a large family and put on abrave face....knowing he is in his flat with nothing and I have a four year old who this is his first year of getting excited over christmas and I dont want to spoil it for him,,,,he dont deserve it....Im struggling ....Lots of support or advice would be appreciated


24 Dec 2014

Hi , your post was mine last year so I understand how you feel I just wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there ! I spent my first Christmas without my son .. I went to familys and he stayed at home and got totally stoned . .. I spent the whole day trying to be cheerful and happy inside I was screaming . It was very difficult but I got through it and in a way I think it helped me realise how much control over my life I had given away to my son . nothing I say will help you feel better about the day I'm really sorry sending you a massive hug and really hope you manage to find some happiness on the day xxxxx

concerned mum
24 Dec 2014

Thank you lolipop...The sad thing is this is nt my first Christmas without him but at least i knew where he was last year....He was in young offenders but this year feels worse.  Its really hitting me hard,  Thank you for your support and kind words,  xxx

24 Dec 2014

Hey hun, we missed you.....come on, you know that the words he says are because he knows he has messed up. It's bloody hard for them to stay clean, cause what's going on In their head eats away at them...if he chooses not to have xmas dinner with you, so be's his way of making you guilty...but don't! Have your xmas, try and enjoy it, and well done for stopping enabling him....merry Xmas hun xxxx hugs..your son and all those suffering are in my prayers..xxxxxxxx

Icarus Trust
3 Jan 2015

Sorry that Christmas must have been such a sad time for you but well done for being so strong, although it must have been really hard.
If you need someone else who would understand what you are doing through, The Icarus Trust has trained volunteers that you could talk to. This is a free service so I hope you might find it useful.
You can contact us on or visit the website
Good luck and keep strong.

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