We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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Feeling lost and alone
Posted by Wife/Carer on 28 July 2016.
My Husband is is heroin addict. He was an addict before we met, was in recovery when he first started going out and opened up to me 3 months into our relationship about his past. The first 3 years of our relationship consisteted of one big and messy relapse where he hit rock bottom, lost his job, had numerous car accidents and our relationship broke down but he eventually seeked help through detox, rehab and detox again after leaving rehab early and immediately relapsing. I supported him through his recovery and we were back together months into his recovery. During his 18 months clean we bought a house got married and got new jobs. Life was settled and happy. My husband was all you could ask for, generous, kind, loving, caring and fun!!!! ?maybe we rushed into things ?maybe I thought our love was enough to keep him clean ?maybe I thought the happier I am with him the happier he will be. Embarrassingly naive as many are! 10 months into our married life and he has relapsed again, 3 trechuous months where he again very quickly hit rock bottom, big concerns at work, again with the car accidents, lies, deception and conflict at home. I was sick to my stomach with worry. He booked himself back into detox (which we had to take out a credit card to pay for) and just 3 weeks down the line he's using again.... And totally in denial. We cant talk about it because he becomes defensive and irritable and believes there is no issue...!!! All the things he's learned over the years and all the positive things he said after detox have gone out the window. I feel constantly sick and worried knowing exactly where this is leading again. Worried when he doesn't come home, knowing he's using, knowing he could overdose or be involved in a car accident. I don't know where to turn? What to do for the best for me and for him. We have no friends/family support with this. He is not engaging in any of the many services that are out there and that he has previously connected with. He's out now, and claims he will start back on his programme 'tomorrow', but the promise of 'tomorrow' never comes... I know I can't stop him or fix him and that his recovery has to come from him but how do I know how far to carry on with this? We're newly weds life should be great we should be having fun and making plans for our future. I want to stay because I want him to be well and for us to be happy, I've lived in faith for too many years now and feel u am at risk of breaking part. If I left I would not stop loving him and would still worry and selfishly where do I go from here......???!!!!
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