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feels like I'm running into a brick wall .. help needed

Posted by colcon on 17 June 2014.

Hello, I'm new to this completely. I have never looked for help online nor in person as I ashamed or I get too upset to talk about it. 
I'm a sibling of four children. I'm 20 and have siblings aged 19, 16 and 11. 
My father is an alcoholic and has been for over 30 years, he also takes drugs on occasions. Due to the alcohol and of course his personal behaviour we have seen extreme situations of domestic violence between him and my mother. Which then let to abuse on us, physically mentally and emotionally. Until recently my fathers health has gotten worse. He won't seek help and feels he will never stop drinking. Of course this already upsetting enough for myself and my siblings. 
However, I live in a London whilst all of my family live in Scotland and in other countries. We have no one to help us. I know people would say what about your mother .. That's another story. 
For the past few years my mother resorted to drinking too, but has got worse in the last year and she is starting to gain traits of an alcoholic who seems to despise my father. She won't admit she has a problem and properly never will. I will also mention recently, my mother has  tried committing suicide by taking too many anti-depressants, with the last episode last week - where she took 10 antidepressants whilst drinking alcohol. She also takes drugs occasionally. Myself and my siblings are quite happy go lucky, and enjoy the company of each other. None of us smoke or touch alcohol as we have seen the effects. I have a job as well as my two youngest sisters and of course my little brother is still at school and seems to show some behaviour issues such as refusing to go to school which is putting more pressure on us especially me, as I am seen as the person who needs to fix everything. I don't know where else to turn too, :(. I apologise this story is very long and quite complex. I'm not even expecting anyone to read this, but it feels good writing it out likes this. Thank you


17 Jun 2014

Any advice or support would be appreciated.

19 Jun 2014

Hi COLCON......What a star you are for being so level headed and taking on the nurturing role...Its sad, that you and your siblings have had to endure this..I really worry about your little brother though....If he is still in that environment with your parents ,the harm to him , mentally and physically is dangerously high......At 11 he is at the stage where he will know what is going on and for me that is heart breaking....Isnt there a relative that can check in, and make sure he is ok...??? I have no sympathy for your parents..sorry if that sounds harsh, but if you want to mess your kids heads up, then your parents are and will be doing a good job....Your mother sounds as if she has taken to drinking as there is no other alternative...that is very sad......Do your sisters still  live at home??? and if so can the not ask social services or other organisations for help....I know that may sound drastic, but I really would be worrying for your little brother.......massive hugs, and here to talk xx

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