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i think its over

Posted by so sad:( on 19 April 2015.

Hi any advice would be greatfull. .. i have been with my partner for 4 years and married for only 7 months we have a lot in common and get on great been on loads of family holidays and hes always showered us with love and attention i have a 5 year old for a previous realionship.. but he calls him dad as he knows no different.. any way i have always known he like to do coke with his mates on a night out and he would go out every couple of months so it wasnt a problem.. After we got married we had a few money troubles and had to tight with our spending so my husband got a second job.. so he was out all day and all night working so on a weekend he used to spend sometime with his frineds but then stayed out all night... this became a regular thing and we were forever arguing about it... he said there was nothing to worry about and he was just a mates... about 2 months ago he was spending thursday fri and sat with his mates and doing drugs and i was always nagging him to come home.. one night we got into a massive argument about it and he sed he had cheated on me and thats why he never wants to be any more... and also he cant stop doing coke... he left and i begged him to come home... after a week he came back and sed he was going to prove he will change and told me he loved me... then 2 days later he changed his mind and sed he didnt love me and he needed time to figure out wat he wanted.. i gave him that and 2 weekd later he was back saying he loved me and promised the world to me again text me every night saying i love you and i will make this work and slept with me... so naturally i thoughy we were getting back togther.. then 3 days later he changed his mind again and says he loves me just not enough and now says its best if hes not in my sons life... he also siad that he only said and done them things to see if his love would grow for us and it didnt... he left and said sorry and i havent spoke to him since 5 days ago he text me saying i need to talk but im soo upset and deveasted i cant bare to talk to him... i think it will come out that he is with someone else and i really cant take that at the moment... he has said that he can never promise that he will not take drugs again... i cant cope cos hes turned it all aorund and says he doesnt feel the same about the marriage so i feel like its something iv done... but i have always been there for him and made a lovely home for him... only thing i was not happy with was the taking drugs and staying out all night   i think my marriage is over!!!


Icarus Trust
20 Apr 2015

I feel really sorry for you and it sounds like you could do with someone to talk to who could help you to find a way forward. I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust. We support people like yourself who are affected by the addictions of their loved ones. If you contact us we could put you in touch with one of our trained volunteers called 'Family Friends' who would be there to talk and offer support for you. It is a free service so it might be worth you trying us. It often helps to talk things through with someone who would understand and have experience of what you are going through.
You can contact us on or visit the website
Good luck!

22 Apr 2015

Hi I'm in a similar position. It's so difficult when you have children. Thinking of you wish you good luck x

so sad:(
22 Apr 2015

Hi icrarus trust i have emailed yous so hoepfully i will get some advice...thank you for your response 
Unhappy i know its so hard my son asks daily where his dad is coming back and i dont think he ever will... what hurts me the most is that he has left us both... if he didnt love me fair enough but to not want to see our son too.. shows how heartless his really is... i hope your ok sending big hugs xxx

Icarus Trust
11 May 2015

Really glad you've emailed  Hope you get the help you need.

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