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Is he alcohol dependant?

Posted by Mrs-Mezz on 29 August 2017.

My husband of 7 yrs , together for 10.5 yrs has told me he doesn't love me and wants to separate. 
This has totally devastated both myself and the kids. 

He says he hasn't loved me for some time and has recent sought comfort with a female colleague of his. He has since advised that this was a knee-jerk reaction to being unhappy. 

He is massively reliant on alcohol, frequently consuming 15+ cans of beers/ ciders as well as copious amounts of gin. 

As yet his work has not been affected, but I don't know if being married to me is causing the drinking and unhappiness or if the drinking has caused him to be unhappily married. 

He has recently had a milestone birthday, and has stated that he is scared of being this age and single, but is preferable to being this age and married, to me. 

My husband is my soulmate and I would only walk away if this will help him to get better as I only want him to be happy and healthy. 

There is the very real concern that the loneliness of myself and the children leaving will cause him to spiral further and be unable to help himself. 

He doesn't acknowledge that there is an alcohol problem, and is therefore unwilling to realise that help may be sorely needed. 

I don't know what to do for the best because he is my best friend, soulmate and the love of my life who thinks nothing of hurting himself and me.


Icarus Trust
29 Aug 2017

Thank you for posting and sharing your story. I really sympathise as I can see that you are in a very difficult and upsetting position which is hard for you to make sense of. If you think it would help please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support for people who are living with the addiction of a loved one. We have experienced people who you could talk to who would understand what you are experiencing and may be help you to know what to do next.
You can contact us on or visit the website
I hope that you can get some support. Good luck.

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