We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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Lost & Alone
Posted by MissLCM on 26 July 2014.
My son is 20 and still at home with me, just been the 2 of us since his father left 11 years ago. We have such a close bond and get on so well which makes it so hard to watch him destroy himself by taking drugs. He has been smoking cannabis for years now, when I 1st found out I went crazy, stopped him having any cash and checking his every move but all to no avail as he continued on the sly. About 3 years ago he got involved with legal highs which are now not legal and on 2 occasions was taken to hospital via ambulance as he had passed out in the street. After the 2nd time of being in hosp we spoke and I decided to accept the cannabis smoking as it seemed the lesser of 2 evils and I felt it might stop him taking anything else. That wasn't to be as he then had a major episode of taking Methedrone for several weeks, running up debts and losing weight rapidly. This was sorted out and left him needing GP care as he had become depressed and suffering from anxiety for which he was given meds. He talks of not wanting to wake up, of being sick of life, he tells me he didn't ask to be here. I actually get scared he might end it all one day as just couple of months ago I found him in his room tying T-shirts together sat on floor in very dark mood. I sat with him, cried with him and we got over that, apparently he was owe someone cash for cannabis and this was why he was so low. I maxed out my credit cards and paid his debts so we could start again and try get him on right road but yet again, kick in the teeth for me as I discovered he was getting hooked on coke!! I confronted him, he told me truth in the end and how bad it was, he was only doing it to feel happy as he felt his meds from GP didn't help anymore etc. More debts needed cleared, this time by my mum who used her savings. Again we all spoke and moved forward but my son refuses to talk to GP so getting no help for him. Then again 2 weeks ago BANG he has done same again with coke and more of my mums saving are used, same excuses as before but told me he gets bored, depressed and lonely when I am out all day working to provide!! I spoke to my GP and he signed me off work to be with my son in the hope I could get him to attend an appointment with GP but no joy! I am now at my wits end as I am convinced my son is using coke again last few days and I have no-one to talk to, my mum is great at giving financial support but no good at letting me talk about what is going on, I have no-one to sit with him when he is going through the lows, crying and sobbing or the highs when is on edge, over talking and being edgy. I have confronted him but he denies using again, he is eating well but sleep pattern all over and his mood is up/down. My gut feeling just keeps screaming something aint right and its never let me down before! This is killing me as I cant sleep, walk the dog crying my eyes out like an idiot. Any advice be great! Sorry for going on but felt good to just let some of it go.....xx
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