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My brother is destroying his life

Posted by Alia on 21 December 2017.

My brother turned 40 earlier this year. He’s smart, kind, good looking and should be enjoying his life.  Instead for the last 20 years he’s been using cannabis (high strength) on a daily basis and in recent years Crystal meth and ghb too.  Last night, I took some food round to him and whilst sitting watching tv a knock at the door.  The police arrested him.
I’ve realised over the last few years that despite growing up in the same home we had such different experiences.  I was content, happy and had many friends.  Looking back now I realise he was depressed, anxious and could never please a father with unrealistic high expectations.  He had no self esteem or coping mechanisms when he went to uni and that’s where it all began...
Over the last few years I’ve watched my beloved brother become a shadow of his former self.  He’s lost many great jobs, lost many good friends, not been able to engage with family at times when we needed him and physically he has deteriorated. He’s been abusive to all around him including himself.  
My parents are older with medical problems.  My own serious relationship broke down this year.  I’m the only person who knows the extent of the problems. I can’t bear to talk to friends about it as I’m so ashamed. I feel very lonely and terrified about what will happen next. How can I cope with this situation???


Icarus Trust
1 Jan 2018

Hi Alia,
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am very sad to read that you are feeling alone in this situation but I want you to know that there are people that could help. Please contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity set up to provide support to people whose lives are affected by the addictions of a family member or friend. We know how hard this is. If you contact us we could put you in touch with one of our experienced and trained people who you could talk with. Maybe that will give you some support to help you cope and know where to go next.
You can contact us on or visit the website
I really hope that this helps. Good luck.

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