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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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pregnant and alone

Posted by laura89 on 2 June 2015.

im new to all this and need someone to talk to. Im 25 years old and pregnant with my first baby. My mother has drank since I can remember and is what ive found is called a "maintenance drinker". Im not even sure what kind of help im after as im just so angry at her. I spend my day crying which I know isnt good for my baby and all I want is my mam back. I feel so scared and alone all of the time. She denys her drinking and says that its in my head that I can smell it on her. She has had help in the past but always goes back to it. Sorry if im not making sense. I feel like im at a dead end and im exhausted. I can physically speak to anyone as all I do is choke up and cry


7 Jun 2015

Hi Laura, it's so hard to see someone you are close to become a different person through alcohol abuse. All I can say is the anger you are feeling is completely normal and I felt the same way with my mum. I think you will get a lot of comfort from reading about alcoholism and accepting it as a disease and something your mum cannot help. Sadly it is often only when alcoholics or addicts hit rock bottom that they decide to change but they have to do it for themselves. My mum lost her battle to alcoholism 10 years ago and I have recently lost my first pregnancy half way through, all I have wanted the last few weeks is my mum to be here for me and part of me regrets spending so much time arguing with her over her drinking when she was here. Your baby will become your number one priority over everything else in your little world and you will get a taste of the crippling love your mum feels for you, try not to blame her for her drinking or accuse her of doing it on purpose but maybe discuss with her how important it is for your son/daughter to have a grandma. You are not responsible for your mother or her drinking so you perhaps need to focus on yourself and the baby for a while and be there to offer your mum support when you are feeling up to it x

Icarus Trust
22 Jun 2015

I am so sorry to read of how you are feeling. It is very tough for you especially when you should be enjoying looking forward to your new baby. I am sure that you would find it useful to talk with someone who understands what you are dealing with. The Icarus Trusty is a charity that supports the friends and families of addicts. We have experienced trained volunteers who are called 'Family Friends'. If you contact us we will put you in touch with one of them. Talking with one of them may help you to deal with your thoughts and emotions and find a way forward.
You can contact us on or visit the website
Good luck with everything!

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