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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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Posted by JP on 4 January 2015.

My finace and i are newly engaged he has been using meth for a while now and i new about it the whole time and we have not lived together yet until the end of this month we will be. he lives in another state and will be moving here to be with me and my son, now my mom found out about his addiction and swears up and down if he moves here he is not allowed around my son and she will take my son finace is going to treatment and AA meetings and is going to take a drug test at the end of the month to prove hes sober and clean he was going to do this anyway because he doesnt want to bring it around my child. i want opinions and thoughts on this, my mom doesnt want me to have anything to do with him. but i love him and i dont want to leave him he needs love and support im going to do everything i can to help him as long as he helps himself. when he moves here we are going to go to counsling at my church and he is going to continue AA meetings and random drug tests and continue with his psychiatry appointments also i just honestly feel he is doing everything right and my mom cant take my son away and that if my fiance is sober and clean before he moves here it shouldnt matter...?


4 Jan 2015

I think you need to think long and hard...whether you love this man isn't the question, it's whether you love your son more...I'm not saying finish it, but I agree with your mum...sorry.... Your child doesn't have a choice, but your BF is in the early stages of trying to get on the path to doesn't matter how much you want to help him, ultimately he has to want it enough to work real hard at's great your supporting him, which is always important...just think long and hard Hunni.....x

4 Jan 2015

Would it be better to live together after he has been sober for at least a year? That way I know things will be better and in the meantime I still support and be there for him? This is all new to me and have never been around this before so I honestly don't know what to do...

5 Jan 2015

Hi JP, that sounds like a good starting point...not only will that show him you are taking things seriously, but you are also looking out for your sons well being...and if he loves you and your son as much as you think, he will agree with your decision....take it slow Hunni, support and encourage , and remember it will be hard for him....good luck xx

5 Jan 2015

Also check out support groups for you, this is a great way of understanding addiction, and you may meet people you can confide in xx

Icarus Trust
6 Jan 2015

I work for a charity called The Icarus Trust which supports people like yourself, who are trying to cope with the impact of  addiction in their families.
I really think it might help you to talk through your thoughts and feelings as the choices you are having to make are really hard. Our 'Family Friend' service would offer you the chance to talk one to one with one of our experienced trained volunteers who would understand where you are coming from.
You can contact us on or visit the website
I really hope that you can get some support for yourself and that things turn out well for you. 
Good luck.

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