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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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Posted by when will it get better on 15 June 2015.

This is the first time I have written here or anywhere so excuse my ramblings but I suppose now is the time I need to get all my frustrations husband is an alcoholic as I write this he is flopped on the sofa he has been a drinker for about 20 yrs and did give up for a while but the last 2yrs has been a living hell finaly he has sought help and his detox starts on the 29th of this month he knows he has a big problem and hates what he has become I know that it would be dangerous for him to stop suddenly but I really cant wait for detox to begin most days I feel like banging my head against a brick wall as when he is drunk everything is an argument even the most simple thing like tea or what to watch on the tv its like looking after a spoilt sulky child.Alcohol has really ruined so much of not only his life but mine and my children I really hope that he can stay sober this time as if I don't see any change soon then I am going to finally divorce him


16 Jun 2015

I think forums like this are a great place to vent your frustrations to people who know exactly what you are going through and to discover that there are many others in the same (what feels like sinking) boat.
From the medical side of things your go should be able to prescribe medication to counteract withdrawal symptoms and combat craving so your husband could actually stop drinking now if he wanted to. It has to be him that chooses to do it though so it's perhaps something you could suggest or print the info on and give to him to read for himself.
My husband is also an alcoholic and we have both had a tough time recently with losing a baby, this stirred up some dark emotions in him and led to a very unpleasant drunken argument. Our relationship hit an all time low which seemed to give him the nudge to acknowledge the drink problem and seek help. We both have appointments tomorrow with different councillors, his is to assess his alcoholism and mine is for support, it will help me put things in to perspective and to find out what I can best do to support him going forwards but most importantly to set the appropriate boundaries for his behaviour. I am still undecided as to whether I even want to be with him but following such an emotional roller coaster that I've had this last 6 weeks I don't think it's wise to make any hasty decisions. You may benefit from picking up the phone to one of these helplines as well. I phoned the drinkaware one found on their website and they put me in touch with the local one. Just having the support makes you feel more empowered and talking it through with someone that is completely impartial really helps. The trouble with telling friends and family is that they tend to throw their opinions in the mix rather than just listen. I hope things work out for you and your husband but do remember that you are not responsible for him but the alcoholism is a disease so he isn't drinking just to hurt you, he is drinking in order to function as normally as possible x

when will it get better
16 Jun 2015

Hi thanks for replying and sorry for your loss. My husband has been fighting  demons for so long but has wanted for a long time to get help but he never felt that he could do it he has been going to a alchol/drug place and has had about a month of counselling and he starts the detox in the 29th of this month which he is feeling positive about I really hope it works and the man I fell in love with returns because when he is drunk I hate him. It really is a horrible disease which affects everybody in the household I hope things work out fir you xxx

Icarus Trust
23 Jun 2015

If you would like some support for yourself you might find it helpful to contact The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports the families and friends of addicts. One of the free services we offer is called 'Family Friends'. These are experienced trained volunteers and you could be put in touch with one of them. Talking through your situation to some one who understands what your are going through might help you to see a way forward.
You can contact us on or visit the website
I hope that you might find this useful. Good luck!

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