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A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.

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Terrified of losing you to crystal death

Posted by Ruth95 on 3 January 2015.

My boyfriend has been in recovery for 2 months now after heavily using crystal meth for a year. He destroyed his life and lost everything (job, home and his parents) in the space of 4 weeks. He broke my heart over and over again watching the states he used to get himself into. I watched him lose his mind. some times he got violent and aggressive so unlike the intelligent funny and caring law graduate who he is.
I am overjoyed at the progress he has made. He is a real inspiration and showing no signs of going back. But I still have this fear when ever he walks out the door, or as soon as something goes a little wrong that I am going to lose him to the drug again. I love him unconditionally, but when is the past going to stop hunting me, when will I stop being afraid, when will I be able to a live a normal life?


4 Jan 2015

Hi Ruth, it's hard watching a loved one go down the recovery first we are extatic that they have made the decision to get help....we have high hopes everything will be plain sailing and the addiction will be gone for ever...what I have learned is, no matter how much we want it for them, they may relapse, but support is isn't plain sailing, so getting as much help as possible is essential. My son has been in recovery for over 7 months now..3 relapses, and I literally held my breath over xmas, because he had 7 days off work....if something upsets him, his addictive reaction would be to get he has to work hard at dealing with "life" without alcohol and drugs! Recovery in my opinion is a life choice, because I see the struggle he has every day trying to steer clear of his addiction. Well done to your BF , and if he can try and get added support from his doctor, support groups, family, counsellors....good luck xxxxx

Icarus Trust
6 Jan 2015

Hi Ruth,
I am  glad to hear your story is so positive and really hope that your boyfriend continues to progress well.
If you would like some support for yourself, it may help you to talk your feelings and fears through with another who has been through what you are experiencing. Our charity, The Icarus Trust, offers support to family members who are having to deal with the impact of a loved ones addiction. We could provide you with one of our 'Family Friends.' These are experienced trained volunteers who, if you thought it helpful, would talk with you and could also signpost you to other services that are available.
You can contact us on or visit the website
I really hope your boyfriend continues on his road to recovery. Good luck.

confused mother of 2
31 Jan 2015

I've been there except he hasn't gotten to the point of getting help... are things still well?

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