We care, for the better.
A place for families, because you don't have to use drugs to be affected by them.
- How do I know if they're using drugs?
- Why do they use drugs/alcohol?
- Is it my fault?
- How can I cope with their behaviour?
- Understanding the stages of addiction and recovery
- Where do I get the help I need?
- Getting support for your loved one
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The nightmare begins again
Posted by AmandaA on 30 June 2014.
Hello My son is a drug addict, full on heroin and is on methadone. He also has mental health issues and Aspergers. I have stepped in and out of his life and went to drugfam meetings for about 6 months or so and they really helped. I never really believed in tough love but went with it as thats what the professionals said i should do. Then I got dragged back in. I have tried to help him. Listened to his tale of woe, dug him out of trouble. Hardest thing is he has no friends so seeks undesirables as they are the only ones who will be with him. They then take advantage of him, steal from him, beat him up, bully him, taunt him. I get the phonecalls and texts and go through hell and then the next day he is with them again. He hasnt lived with me for a long time. He has been in a new flat since February and every window in the house has been smashed. Its used as a drugs den and he lets people in. He has panic alarms given by the police and one day he is a victim and then the next he is not. I have spent numerous times in hospital with him on drug overdoses, paid to have his flat sorted, bought him food and paid for electricity. He has debts coming out of his ears, never any money, does not have any sense of reality whatsoever. Misses appointments, discards letters. Its a nightmare. In between all of this he is obstructive, aggressive, abusive towards me. There are very rare times when he is not. Yet still i put up with it. A week ago he was back in A & E with another overdose, this time a massive one. He was in a coma and ended up in ICU with a tube down his throat helping him breathe. I sat and watched him half hoping he would not wake up. When he did, he discharged himself 6 hours later. No remorse, care, regard for what he had done to me or himself. After another week of hell, more rubbish, more abuse I feel i need to back away again as i just cant deal with it. He also has a girlfriend, first friend/girl friend in a very long time. She too is a drug addict with mental health issues. Its a very volatile relationship but sometimes think it has its positives as it means he is not on his own. She is meant to be going to rehab and if she does, I fear it will push him further down although not sure how much further he can fall. I am battling with myself not knowing what i should do. Do I block him from my phone again, no food, money, electricity, phone, nothing? Is this the right thing to do. Can I do it again, can i go through the heartache and grief yet again? Feels like I have lost him all over again but he was never really there. The situation is causing more probs between my husband and I (his stepfather). Tired of being blamed and told what to do and how to feel. Tired of people who dont have kids in this situation thinking they would not react in the same way. But how could they possibly know? They think they do, but we all know that its not that simple. Its not as if i chose this situation or want it. If I could switch him off i would. Just dont know if i have got the strength to do it all over again. I just wish the problem would go away. I wish i could wake up in the morning with the burden lifted. Would appreciate any advice. xxx
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